Money can buy...
Books, but not Knowledge,
A
Clock, but not Time,
Food, but not Appetite,
Medicine, but not Health,
Blood, but not Life,
Position, but not Respect,
Entertainment, but not Happiness,
Sex, but not Love,
Companionship, but not Friendship,
A Bed, but not Sleep,
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beer in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
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How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a
baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called
a hearing?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse
drive in the
If the professor on Gilligan's
Why does Goofy stand on two legs while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME
crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come
from morons?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you. But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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