samples & swatches

EMPORIUM
FURNITURE
& GALLERY

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samples & swatches

Money can buy...

Books, but not Knowledge,

A Clock, but not Time,

Food, but not Appetite,

Medicine, but not Health,

Blood, but not Life,

Position, but not Respect,

Entertainment, but not Happiness,

Sex, but not Love,

Companionship, but not Friendship,

A Bed, but not Sleep,

A House, but not a Home.

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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beer in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse

drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand on two legs while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you. But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one ENJOYS it?
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If a pig loses its voice, is it dis-gruntled?
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages
when they are made from stale bread?
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Are the workers at Lipton Tea allowed to take coffee breaks?
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What does a bald man put for hair color
on his driver's license?
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Why don't they put pictures of criminals on postage stamps so that mailmen can look for them
while they deliver the mail?
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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what, exactly, are the others here for?
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What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of its nose?
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